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imagesMost people catch a cold, recover, and go about their business.  Only 5% of the aforementioned folks end up with a complication called subacute thyroiditis.  I’m one of them.

Essentially, the thyroid gland starts to overwork, and the rest of your body joins in. Your heart beats faster, blood pressure runs higher, metabolism increase, your thoughts and words move at the speed of lightening.  As it turns out, this is the disease of “a lot of.”  A lot of hunger, a lot of thirst, a lot of anger, a lot of bathroom visits, and a lot of pain.  What you don’t have lots of, are patience, compassion, and tolerance.

In other words, you turn into a rabid beast.

The whole world moves in slow motion, as far as you are concerned, and it makes you mad.

Everyone is stupid and they can all go shit in a hat:  the movers, who can’t put your bed together fast enough (you actually called them apes); the guy who sticks his filthy hand in the bowl of m&m’s despite the large spoon; the insurance agent who asks too many questions before canceling your policy, as you requested; anyone who finds your attitude less than perfect; and the rest of the crybabies in the world.

With a low tolerance and inhibition, you tend to speak up more often and are hellbent on proving your point.  For instance, if an editor wants a 1500-word article, you don’t simply say yes.  Oh no.  You argue for 1000 words.  If your boyfriend asks for more time together, you decide you need a lot of space.  In fact, it suddenly becomes clear that you are not even relationship material, with all the space you need.  No sir.  You are meant to enjoy life on your own.  In fact, despite moving to another state recently, you consider moving back.  Grand Rapids, Michigan has a very famous annual art festival.  Instead of enjoying it, you criticize most pieces and change the name from Art Prize to Craft Prize. 

The diagnosis certainly puts your mind at ease.  At least you are not going totally crazy.  The meds start to control the pain.  And your loved ones let you win most arguments or don’t argue at all.  

The trouble is…this illness can last for a few months.

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